


Chief Plant, Alpha Tree

by dragonchiefhiccup (octolingkiera)



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, chief plant alpha tree, post httyd2, sorta crack treated seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octolingkiera/pseuds/dragonchiefhiccup
Summary: It started out as a joke.But then he actually thought about it, put some time and effort into the idea, and from there the scheme came together like it was sent from Asgard itself.(hiccup and toothless take off, but they leave some stunt doubles in their places)
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	Chief Plant, Alpha Tree

**Author's Note:**

> this was a joke in the discord chat, and i had to write about it. it's been done for over a year, but i didnt want my first posted httyd fic to be a joke fic so i just left it alone. but i recently decided i didnt care, so here it is lol
> 
> please excuse my terrible title; i just named the fic after the document name lol
> 
> enjoy!

It started out as a joke. A passing remark that he made only because it sounded funny—the most ridiculous thing he could think of.

But then he actually thought about it, put some time and effort into the idea, and from there the scheme came together like it was sent from Asgard itself.

So, one day, without saying anything at all to anyone, Hiccup leaves a potted plant that’s approximately his height and covered in some of his old clothes in his usual seat in the Great Hall and leaves with Toothless. They take off right before dawn, the usual time for their morning flights, and they speed off towards the horizon, fast as anything and silent as death.

It’s an hour or so after sunrise, in the middle of dagmál, when someone finally discovers the rouse.

Except. They don’t, not really, and begin chatting away at the plant as if it’s Hiccup himself, without noticing anything even the slightest bit off. The lack of response is unusual for Hiccup, who, quote, “never shuts up,” but the man isn’t discouraged in the least. Everyone’s allowed their off days, and if their young Chief is having one, then the polite thing to do would be to pretend everything is okay. (And sure, most of them don’t _like_ to be polite, but they do believe in respect and honor, both of which the majority of the Hooligans have in spades for their boy.)

It’s Astrid, about an hour after that, who finally _truly_ figures out something is wrong.

It only takes her a single glance to understand why.

“Fishlegs,” she calls across the hall, tilting her head towards her shoulder. She doesn’t take her eyes off what she’s seeing. She almost can’t believe it. “Come look at this.”

There’s some shuffling and some muttering as his heavy footsteps approach at a relatively sedate pace. If Astrid wasn’t so astounded, she might be annoyed. “Look at what?”

Astrid doesn’t respond with words. She points instead.

Fishlegs squints. “Is that a plant?”

Astrid nods and her lips thin. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

“Is it. Are those Hiccup’s clothes?”

Astrid nods again, slower. Fishlegs wisely takes a large step sideways.

Fishlegs purses his lips. “He’s gone, isn’t he.”

“Haven’t seen him all morning.”

“How long do you think it’s been?”

“Hard to tell. He tends to wake up before the sun comes up.”

Fishlegs sighs. It’s a heavy sound that presses down his shoulders. Astrid can relate. “He could be anywhere by now.”

“Yep.” She doesn’t know if what she’s feeling is rage or amusement or something else. She still can’t believe what she’s seeing, but she doesn’t want to ask for a third opinion. The day has just begun and she’s already exhausted.

“We have tracking dragons. We _could_ go find him.”

While Fishlegs brings up an excellent point, she has an even better counter. “No one’s faster than Toothless.”

Fishlegs pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters too quietly for her to hear. She decides she doesn’t want to know anyway. “I guess this is just how today’s going to be.” He sounds as incredulous as she feels.

Astrid nods some more. She has no words.

The man from earlier sees them standing there, and comes over to ask, “So how’s Hiccup doing? He was rather quiet earlier but I thought I’d just let him be. He’s never really quiet unless he’s real tired.”

Astrid and Fishlegs exchange looks, then they turn to the plant as one. It sits there, silent as ever, drooping a little sadly as the clothes weigh heavily on its fronds. Closer inspection reveals thin metal rods are holding the clothes in shape, just enough to keep the plant upright.

The man is still waiting for a reply.

Astrid rolls her eyes towards the rafters, grumbles a quiet, “Odin give me strength,” and then faces the man with her best, fake diplomatic smile. “Hiccup’s feeling a little under the weather today, so if you have something you needed taken care of, and it isn’t urgent, it’ll have to wait.”

“Oh, not a problem!” He leans slightly around her and waves at the plant. It doesn’t move. “Get well soon, Chief!” And he trundles away, cheerful.

Fishlegs watches him go.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Astrid says. Her hands clench into fists at her sides and her teeth grind together. She forces herself to take deep breaths.

Fishlegs sighs. “You gotta find him first.”

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay gone for a while.”

Fishlegs goes to reply, but he turns towards the sound of the giant doors opening. He closes his mouth and just looks tired.

Valka joins them a few seconds later. “Have either of you been down to the stables today?”

“Oh gods, what now?” Astrid wishes she never crawled out of bed this morning.

Valka’s brow furrows and Astrid can pick Hiccup out of her expression. It’s still a bit surreal to see. “It’s got to be a prank of some sort, but I don’t see how.” She presses her lips together and tilts her head. “There’s a… potted tree? In the middle of the stables.”

“Really.” Astrid thinks if she rolls her eyes anymore, they might get stuck that way. Fishlegs mutters to himself again.

“The weirdest part is that it…” Valka trails off and crosses her arms. She looks mildly embarrassed, like she can’t believe she’s about to say her next few words out loud. Astrid suddenly feels much older than she is. “It appears to be… maybe an old rig of Toothless’s? It’s strung up in the tree like it belongs there. I don’t know who could have done this.”

“I do,” Fishlegs grumbles.

Valka blinks.

“Hiccup,” Astrid supplies.

“Why would he—?”

Astrid turns and gestures at the potted plant.

Valka tilts her head the other way. “I see,” she says, but it’s clear that she _really doesn’t_. Astrid can’t blame her. Valka’s threshold for “Hiccup weirdness” is much lower than the rest of theirs. She didn’t see him grow up and she definitely didn’t live on the Edge with just him and a handful of other people and dragons for over a year.

“Don’t worry,” Astrid assures. “Everything will be fine. They’ll be back soon enough.” She narrows her eyes and glares past Valka and Fishlegs. “He’s gonna hear _all_ about it. Trust me.”

Fishlegs shivers and Valka ducks her head like a scolded dragon. Astrid only feels a little bad.

“Hey, Chief! Heard you weren’t feeling well and I wanted to wish you a swift recovery!”

Valka blinks again, a little more rapidly. Her lips part and she looks at Astrid. Astrid shakes her head.

Maybe Hiccup had the right idea.

Doesn’t mean he’s off the hook, though.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like it :3
> 
> kudos and comments are much appreciated
> 
> [check me out on tumblr!](https://octolingkiera.tumblr.com/)   
>  [and here's my httyd blog!](https://dragonchiefhiccup.tumblr.com/)


End file.
